Category: writing process (Page 9 of 14)

A Wizard of Earthsea and How Great Books Can Inspire My Writing

earthsea_coverWhen I wrote the second draft of The Thirteen Treasures of Britain, I was also reading The Last Unicorn. Even though my story and Beagle’s had little in common, the music of his prose, the vitality of his world made an impact on me while I was writing. I wanted my book to capture some strain of the magic that I felt The Last Unicorn possessed. Even though I knew my own novel would never equal Beagle’s masterpiece, I wanted to try. In short, The Last Unicorn was inspiring. It energized my writing, and I found myself more joyful while I read it, and more joyful while I was writing my own story.

It’s no secret that I’ve had trouble finishing my second novel, Ysbaddaden and the Game of Chess. I’ve had babies, become the mother of three children all under the age of five, struggled to navigate the demands of teaching, mothering, and adulting, and all the while, I’ve felt less joyful and more overwhelmed. My writing time has evaporated, and with it, a lot of my enthusiasm. I’ve still managed to push on, to write even when it feels like a slog through the Swamps of Sadness, but without that spark of joyfulness that I felt when drafting The Thirteen Treasures. So this second book is taking an eternity to finish.

Curiously, at this very moment, I’m reading another classic of fantasy literature (A Wizard of Earthsea), and I’m finding myself suddenly joyful and energized again, inspired to sit down and work on the draft of my own novel.

Just like what happened with The Last Unicorn.

Le Guin’s prose, the depth of her world and her themes, the way I become completely immersed and lost in her story, the way it feeds my imagination — all of these things remind me of what it’s like to be a fantasy writer, to dream up characters and places and fantastical creatures. And when I do sit down to write, I feel nourished by Le Guin’s story. Great writing makes us as writers see what’s possible, what can be achieved with words, and when I know there are storytellers out there who have reached greatness, then in some small way, I hope I can reach it too. I know I won’t; that’s not the point. It’s the striving for greatness that gives me energy, that helps me find joy in my writing.

I am, at times, haunted by Ray Bradbury’s maxim to “write with gusto.” So much of my writing over the last year and a half has not been filled with much gusto. But when I read a great book — fantasy or otherwise — I gain some measure of gusto, some “kick-joy” (as Kerouac? would say), and I begin to wonder why I don’t just read great books all the time. If these books work like a tonic on my brain, why wouldn’t I imbibed every day? Why am I spending time on things that don’t fill me up with this kind of excitement and awe?

I suppose it’s because we don’t know which books will contain the magic until we start them, and I’m the sort of reader who hates to abandon a book once I’ve started it. There are a few that I DNF, but they are very few. And I also feel obliged to read widely in my genre, most particularly the books being published right now; I can’t exactly restrict myself to the Great Classics of Fantasy if I’m trying to keep up with what’s being written currently. Of course, I’ve read some current fantasy that has indeed been the magical-kind-of-great that I’m describing in this post, but without the benefit of time and distance, it’s hard to know which of these books will be The Ones, and which won’t.

Maybe I need to constantly have a great book on hand, for those times when my verve seems a little limp. I can always read more than one book at a time; I’ve been that kind of reader since I was a kid. But now I realize that I DO need to keep pumping blood into my imagination via these great books. I need Ged — naming the otak, struggling against the shadow, overcoming his pride — and others of his kind to journey with me, keeping me on the path of adventure, like Gandalf and the dwarves leading Bilbo to the Lonely Mountain.

First Lines (a writing exercise)

3019961773_d35178a75a_bThis is one I do with my students — and I do it myself. It’s just a great warm-up exercise, or a way to get ideas when a story or essay feels stuck. I did not invent this exercise (I think it might come from Notebook Know How by Aimee Buckner, or from some other, much smarter teachers than me. James Scott Bell has a variation of it, I think).

It’s called 10 Lines/Try Ten:

In a notebook, write ten opening lines for whatever piece you are working on (or just ten opening lines for ten potentially different pieces). Because you’ve got to write ten unique lines, you don’t labor too intensely over any single sentence, and it totally breaks the blockage that can sometimes happen when you’re starting a piece and staring at the blank page. By coming up with ten openings, you take the pressure off of having that One Perfect Line that can sometimes cripple the writing process. I encourage my students (and myself) to even try to go past the number ten — push things to eleven or even fifteen — and see what comes out. Often the best line is towards the end, when we’ve moved past cliche or the first, somewhat stale thought. Other times, I’ve found that it’s the third or fourth line that really grabs me, and I don’t bother with the other six. I just keep writing from the line that works and that gets me excited.

Here are some first lines I did as a creative exercise. None of these (as yet) are part of any larger story, but I just needed to work my imagination for a bit, so I came up with these. (N.B.: I didn’t even do ten lines, just five. But even these five did enough to get my creative juices flowing.)

1. Tetzi knew she should’ve hidden the body somewhere else.

2. Aoife knew she was adopted, and she never tired of telling their parents so.

3. I was once a bird. Uncle tells me it was just a dream, but he’s a liar.

4. It’s hard fighting duels when you’re drunk.

5. If Lao thought having two children was hard, he was in for a surprise once he had three. By the time he had five, he was ready to begin looking for a new home and a new wife to take care of them all. The five came to Lao not by the natural methods, but by the sign outside his door that said “Master,” and the reputation that preceded it.

Each of these opening lines gets me excited to keep writing, to find out who these characters are and what will happen to them next. Are they perfect lines? No, not by a long shot. But they help un-stick my mind, get me thinking about character, conflict, and the makings of a particular setting. Sometimes a First Lines exercise will be just that — an exercise, something to spur creativity — but it can also serve as a way to begin a new story or chapter. For me, #2 and #3 feel like they might be the beginnings of short stories. The other three openings are interesting, but my mind doesn’t really have anywhere for them to go. Yet.

What’s nice is that I can keep these lines in my notebook and revisit them. Maybe in a few months I might find a story behind one of them; I might have more inspiration to keep writing that story. Ten Lines/Try Ten is a great way to be playful and take the pressure off, and yet, I also find it fruitful for my actual writing; it can give me the start of a new story. Because beginnings can often be so hard, it’s nice to open my notebook and find a beginning ready-made, waiting for me to continue the tale.

Inspirations: Dungeon Crawl Classics RPG

20180803_181548

The Time: Free RPG Day 2017

The Place: a FLGS in Howell, Michigan

The What: Finding a copy of the 2017 Free RPG Day Dungeon Crawl Classics Quick Start Rules

The Result: Nothing.

I skimmed through the rules, liked the idea of The Funnel (where players create 0-level characters, like farmers and urchins and such, and then run them through an arduous dungeon and see who makes it out alive; livers get to become 1st level characters), and promptly moved on to other things.

I wasn’t really looking to run a new rpg. I had given up being a GM after some rocky experiences with a couple of game systems, my husband was taking over the GM role, we were looking at maybe playing some indie games or maybe even The One Ring RPG, but Dungeon Crawl Classics was just this little slim booklet with the cool cover.

But man, that cover. Every once in awhile, while working at my writing desk, that cover would peak through the stack of books surrounding it and I’d start dreaming. The strains of a Led Zeppelin mixed tape would waft through my brain. The feeling of forbidden adventure would beckon, as if I was ten-years-old again, hanging out at the library and gazing greedily at the AD&D 2nd edition books on the shelves, wishing my mom and dad would let me read them, wishing I could travel across Krynn, down into the bowels of a sorcerer’s underground fortress, to speak with dragons and steal magic swords. The cover of DCC’s rule book made me feel all that and more. It tempted me. Intrigued me.

But still, I didn’t go back to it. I was done GMing. We hadn’t role-played or even played board games in a long while. DCC was just a neat cover with some crazy rules inside. I wasn’t going to get caught up in it.

And then, about two months ago, I did. I grabbed the quick start rules again, read through them, loved the artwork, got somewhat inspired to Game Master an adventure (called “Judging” in DCC), and then told myself I was just flipping through the book to get ideas for Ysbaddaden and the Game of Chess. But in the midst of my inspiration-seeking idea-getting I found out I was kinda falling in love with this game. The art. Did I mention the art? It’s so freakin’ old school it makes my ten-year-old heart swoon. The game play (especially the magic) is all about wild, unexpected and chaotic shit happening; I loved the unpredictability, the anything-goes ethos. It WAS inspiring; I felt like my fiction had become too staid, too boxed in, and then DCC came along and said, “Go ahead, do something crazy. Nothing is off-limits. Fantasy doesn’t have to fit into neat boxes.” And now I’m ready to write almost anything, to let my imagination go wild, to write as if I’m a kid again, which is what DCC makes me feel: like a kid.

And kids play. Kids make up crazy shit. Kids aren’t bound by what’s expected or what’s “part of the genre.” Kids just know what feels fun, what excites them. DCC does that. It’s the rpg that speaks to my inner twelve-year-old.

I feel like games can be an awesome source of inspiration. They aren’t “literature” in the typical sense, but they do possess many of the features of narrative: setting, characters, conflict. With tabletop rpgs especially, players are encouraged to create a story together, to weave a narrative from the various numbers and statistics and dice rolls of the game. And with board games too, the imaginative elements are there for crafting stories. What else is the book Jumanji all about, after all? As soon as I finished rereading the DCC quick start rules this last time, I started writing a short story based on the zero-level funnel included in the book, “Portal Under the Stars.” Rpg fan fiction, basically. Something I have never done in my life, but DCC inspired me to do.

So yeah. I bought the core book. I’m reading it now and having all kinds of ideas. I haven’t GMed a game yet (planning on doing a modified version of Beyond the Silver Scream), but when I do, I hope it’s as fun and kick-ass as the game in my head. Regardless of whether I play the game or not, DCC still serves as fertile ground for my own storytelling. The feeling of the book — the vibe it gives off — is energizing. It fills me with the gusto I need to be creative.

Side Projects: Untitled Sword and Sorcery book

swords-against-darkness

If I ever publish my book, I want a bitchin’ cover like this. (Hat tip: The Black Gate)

I’m really bad at doing one thing at a time. Even as a kid, I had multiple stories brewing in my notebooks, multiple role-playing games I was learning to play,  a stack of books I was reading all at the same time. There were moments when one thing would overwhelm all the others and I’d get obsessed with, say, finishing The Voyage of the Dawn Treader before reading anything else, but most of the time, I had multiple irons in multiple fires.

It’s no different now that I’m grown up. I still read several books at a time, I still noodle around with dozens of ideas in my notebooks, and I still work on multiple projects at the same time. Currently, I am working on the first draft of Ysbaddaden and the Game of Chess, but I’m also working on a draft of a fictional memoir called Avalon Summer, and just recently I’ve been delving more deeply into this Sword and Sorcery idea that sprung up earlier this winter.

At first I was thinking this S&S thing might be a series, but now I’m thinking I want to write one really solid, really gonzo book, and see how that goes. No trilogies or series. No marketing strategy. Just one book (and hopefully a good one).

I knew that I wanted a hook, something that would make my hero unique and cool and give him lots of opportunities for adventure. I knew that I loved certain things in my fantasy stories: dragons for sure, lots of magic, mystery and a sense of the numinous. I wanted a hero who would kick ass but also have some depth, some potential for growth and self-reflection. I know that in all of my writing, character and emotion are two areas where I need to improve, so I looked at this untitled S&S book as a sandbox where I could develop my skills. I liked the idea of writing a S&S novel but then write rounded, dynamic characters who experience emotional growth. A Conan story with lots of feels, basically.

So I’ve been noodling around. I created a central city for the characters to inhabit, a larger world for some crazy possible adventures (maybe in some short stories???), and a set of anchor characters who would drive the narrative. I’m not gonna lie: I’m excited about this book, about the characters, about the possibilities. But then, books/ideas are always exciting at the beginning, before any real writing has happened, before I’ve had a chance to screw anything up.

That’s always the trouble with having lots of projects going at once; as soon as one thing starts to disappoint, there’s always something else — something shinier, something new — that lures one away into greener pastures. I know that I can’t let this S&S thing overwhelm my job #1, which is finish my draft for Ysbaddaden, but at the same time, I’m having a lot of FUN noodling around in this new story-world, and I don’t want to give that up and go back to the sticky morass that is my Ysbaddaden draft.

And yet, the excitement of the side project often has a way of bleeding into the malaise of the main project. Even though I’ve not made huge progress on Ysbaddaden, I feel a sense of renewed confidence and energy when it comes to my writing. The side project creates a little retreat from the main work of writing, a kind of holiday — a mental health day, let’s say — that makes it a lot easier to go back to the tougher job of finishing that work in progress.

Now what, exactly, is my S&S novel about? What are the hooks and the magic system, and who are my characters, etc.? I’m not sure I’m ready to reveal that yet. There is a dragon, that much I’ll say. And I’m hoping to include several varied and interesting female characters (including a grandma! Fantasy needs more grandmas). But there’s a part of me that wants to keep this side project hidden, buried away in my notebooks, a hidden treasure where I can examine the rubies and spell-sewn hauberks all on my own. To open it up to the world would be to spoil some of the playground/sandbox fun. Right now, it’s my own private Idaho. I need it. I need the space and the freedom it provides. To bring it out, to rush its debut, would be to crush it and suck away the fun.

For now, it’s on the side. It’s my crazy something. It’s helping me get passionate about storytelling again. I guess that’s the beauty of having a restless imagination.

The Guide to Being a Slow Writer

It’s time for me to confess: I am a slow writer.

I’ve tried to up my word count, to keep track of daily words, to do word sprints. I’ve tried getting up early; I’ve tried staying up later. I’ve tried finding my “peak writing time.” I’ve tried dozens of motivational methods, “productivity hacks,” and the like. But nothing has worked.

I am slow. Some days, I write 150 words. Some days, I don’t write at all. This is mostly due to time and energy. Working, taking care of two small children, and being pregnant with a third child all take their toll on my free time, physical stamina, and mental focus. This isn’t me grouching; it’s simply a fact of life and who I am. Maybe I have an iron deficiency, I dunno. But some days, I’m just not feeling it.

Some days, I can write closer to 2,000 words. When those days come, I’m grateful for them, but I have no idea how they happen or how to replicate them. In fact, I don’t think I’m supposed to replicate them.

Because I’ve come to learn that my creative process is not linear or predictable. Some might say that I need to get more disciplined, or that I need to treat writing like a job. Set the alarm for 5:00 a.m. and write those 1,000 words, dammit. But I already have a job; it’s a necessary evil. I don’t want my writing to become my job. Bradbury said, “Relax, don’t think, work.” Work is awesome; I love to work. I love to work on my blog posts, I love to work on my role-playing campaigns, I love to work on my lesson plans for teaching. Work — the kind that stimulates my heart and imagination — is fun.

But a job? A job is a drag, man. A job is stress. A job is plugging away at something simply because bills got to be paid and if they don’t, we’re living on the streets.

I don’t want writing to be a job; I do my writing to get away from my job.

What I’ve learned about myself over the past few months is that I need to let my imagination stew and ferment and congeal in order to be productive. What does it mean to stew, ferment, and congeal? It means I need to write in my “writer’s notebook” even if what I’m writing about has nothing to do with my Work In Progress (WIP). It means I need to listen to music that gives me goosebumps, or music that challenges me, or music that I’ve never heard before, or music I’ve heard twelve-dozen times. It means I need to spend a day writing a D&D adventure, or making up a character for my FATE campaign, or reading Conan stories. It means I need to go outside and play “Adventure” with my three-year-old instead of squirreling myself away from my family because “Mama needs to work.” It means watching Prisoner of Azkaban because it pumps me up, even though I could be using that time to write.

This isn’t procrastination. Procrastination is screwing around on twitter for three hours a day. Procrastination is not reading the latest SPFBO novel on my kindle, but reading a bunch of dumb political stories online instead. Procrastination is watching Antiques Roadshow all evening when I should really be noodling around in my writer’s notebook.

But listening to evocative music? That’s part of my writing process. Working on a side project? That’s part of my writing process. Doing something every day to stay in contact with my WIP, even if that means just rereading what I wrote yesterday? That’s part of my writing process. If that means it takes me several months to finish a draft instead of four weeks, then so be it. That’s several months of FUN instead of four weeks of hell.

And I’m not one of those writers who hates writing but likes “having written.” I LOVE when I’m actually writing; it’s like the greatest challenge and the biggest natural high all rolled into one. But I don’t love feeling like I have to do it, or that I’m a failure if I don’t do it everyday. I don’t love having a word quota. It looms over every word I write, that damn quota; it casts unforgivable, judgmental glares in my direction. It’s like having a boss leaning over my shoulder and tut-tutting every choice I make. No thanks! I’ll stick with undisciplined and happy, if that’s alright with the rest of you.

And I know there will be writers out there who will challenge this and say I’m just fooling myself. But when I try to set daily quotas, or I try to stick to a certain writing time, when I try to keep pace with other writers who release three or four books a year (or more!), I find myself mired in self-hatred, stagnation, and, ultimately, joyless writing. I don’t want writing to be joyless. I don’t want it to be a source of stress. And, well, maybe that means I won’t be a six-figure author (or even a five-figure one). And I’m okay with that. I don’t want writing to be “just a hobby,” but I’m not going to go against my nature just for the sake of a career.

I suppose this makes me a lousy entrepreneur. I’m okay with that.

I’m also okay with being a slow writer. In fact, I’m more than okay with it. I love it. Writing slow means writing with joy; it means making every moment of my day into a “working on my novel” moment. When I don’t have the obligation to write, I find my mind is more eager to engage with my story even when I’m doing other things.

Can’t manage to find the mental energy to write today? Totally fine. I managed to come up with a cool idea for my story while fixing lunch. Can only manage fifty words on my WIP? Awesome! Those are fifty words I didn’t have yesterday. Noodled around with that mega dungeon I’m stocking for my next RPG session? Excellent. It gave me a chance to be creative while stepping away from my WIP. Hearing a cool song pop up on my iPod (one I haven’t heard in ages)? Love it. That’s inspiration for the next scene I need to write.

When I make storytelling and creativity a seamless, integrated part of my life, I find that writing becomes easier, and that I have less pressure to switch from “writing time” to “other parts of my life” time. They all become the same thing. And by scaling back my goals, by keeping my deadlines modest, I become a happier, less stressed person.

Writing should be fun. And if that means being a slow writer, then I claim that title and wear it proudly.

I am a slow writer. And I love it.

Camp NaNoWriMo April 2017

Camp-2017-Participant-Profile-PhotoYsbaddaden and the Game of Chess (sequel to The Thirteen Treasures of Britain) is not making much progress. I had written about 7,000 words earlier this year, and then the Great Life-Altering News of 2017 happened: I found out I was pregnant. Again.

(Right. You see, I had a baby in October. THIS past October. 2016. So. Now we’re having “Irish twins,” a term I was unfamiliar with until the pregnancy test I took in January, and so here we are.)

Pregnancy, as it always does, makes me a grumpus in the first trimester, so I have not been inclined to work. (Okay, let me be honest: I slacked off. I got soft. I cherished the extra hours of sleep instead of being a highly disciplined word warrior who got her butt out of bed at 6:00 a.m. and got some serious writing done before the kids woke up. In my slight defense, I wasn’t getting much sleep since Mr. Baby [henceforth known as PJ] decided he wanted to start waking up every hour on the hour so we could put his pacifier back in.)

Anyway, Ysbaddaden suffered. The manuscript languished. I got lazier and lazier.

And that’s why I’ve decided to do Camp NaNo this month. I know I won’t finish the draft this month, but at least I’ll make some progress.

Because the beautiful thing about NaNo? Even if you don’t win — if you simply participate, if you write words you wouldn’t have written otherwise, if you get some inspiration, if you get re-energized and recharged, if you find a community of like-minded writers — then NaNoWriMo will be a success.

And what I need more than anything right now is some re-energizing. Let’s be honest: NaNo is simply fun. Camp NaNo even more so. The cabin assignments, the care packages, the slightly-kitschy camp-themed graphics and merchandise, the badges: it’s a place where writing ceases to be a solitary endeavor and instead becomes a communal celebration. NaNoWriMo is like one big writing party. And Mama needs a party right now.

For those who are doing Camp NaNo this month (or for those who are thinking of joining), my words of wisdom are these: Rediscover the fun of writing.

Camp is often a place for kids to rediscover nature and the spirit of camaraderie. For Camp NaNo participants, let’s rediscover what it’s like to be a kid. Let’s have adventures. Let’s tell stories around the campfire. Let’s create legendary moments that will live on in our hearts forever. Let’s delve into the depths of the lake, or search the wilds of the forest. Let’s eat lots of junk food and pull some pranks. Let’s sneak out at night and get into mischief. Most of all, let’s be wild and unfettered.

« Older posts Newer posts »

© 2024 Jennifer M. Baldwin

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑